Today’s my dad’s birthday. Normally it would be a happy day for many, but for me, it’s bittersweet. My dad passed when I was one year old, and I’ve always hated March 23rd just because it reminds me of what I don’t have. He’s not here and he’s never been here but I’ve learned some powerful insights growing up fatherless.
There isn’t an expiration on grief
No matter what age you lose a parent, grief is grief. The period of when it happens does make a difference because in my case, I can’t remember anything. But Grief is a lifetime. You’ll think about how they weren’t there when you graduated high school, and most definitely on your wedding day. It’s been 27 years some people will say, just to remind you. It doesn’t get any easier and I wouldn’t wish this on grief on anyone.
You need friends and family that will remember
Listen, it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since your parent has been deceased, you’ll need friends and family to help you remember them. Whether it’s their birthday and your plans are to visit their grave every year or if it’s just looking at memories. Make sure you have friends that you can share the memories with.
Seeing others with their father makes things easier
This sounds crazy because normally that’ll make me sad and honestly for the longest time it did (still does a little-if I’m honest), but seeing others happy makes me happy. There’s nothing like seeing a little girl riding her bike down the street while her dad assists her. That makes me happy. If you’re a father be there for your daughters.
My mother is superwoman
Many people might think this of their moms but trust me mom is superwoman! She raised for 4 little girls on her own ages (1-9). My father died unexpectedly and she raised 4 women who all graduated college. If that’s not superwoman I don’t know what is. Hope I can be half the mother she is.
Life isn’t fair
Yes, this is cliché. But sometimes a reminder is needed. Those special occasions where I’m sad because he isn’t here I remind myself of the good. I don’t have much memory, but I do have videos, pictures, and family. Also, I try to remember that someone always has it worse than me. Life won’t be fair.
Happy Birthday to my father Manwel!
Let me know what you think of this post! Have you ever experienced the loss of a parent or loved one? Let me know in the comments.