Yes, I’m selfish. I didn’t always use to be but the place that I’m in currently I choose to be selfish. Selfishness, the way I’m using it, isn’t meant to be negative. I’m choosing to put myself before anyone else and not feel guilty about it. I’m that sister, friend, the coworker that always worries about what someone else is experiencing. Meanwhile, coming up with 20 different scenarios of how to “fix” their situation. I’m that girl who will drop everything and leave because whatever I’m doing doesn’t matter more than someone else does. That girl who will pour out so much love into others but doesn’t give enough to herself and she ends up empty. That’s me or it was.
The Year of Yes
Has anyone read Shonda Rhimes book, “The Year of Yes?” If not, go pick it up before the year ends, you won’t regret it. Well, of course, I have the book, I’ve read it in the past but sometimes I like to reread books when things just don’t click. So, I did and I’m glad to say “it” clicked. Basically, I’m been saying yes to every opportunity that has come my way especially if it makes me uncomfortable. Not many people know that I’m a true introvert through and through. I don’t like large cowards. I don’t like speaking in front of people if I don’t have to. Just being is what I like. So, about a month or so ago I decided that anything that put me outside of my comfort zone I would do it. It’s been one of the most aggravating yet rewarding experiences ever. It’s taught me to be selfish in everything that I want for myself. I’m falling in love with a new me.
Falling in love again
It’s funny because my sister’s always preached to me how the age 30 is the best. “You won’t care about what anyone thinks about you anymore, you’ll feel free.” Well, I’ll be 29 in January and I can already feel some of that freedom. It’s like I’m falling in love with myself again. I’m finding out that I don’t always have to carve a piece of myself and give it away. That’s its okay to keep that piece of myself, for just me. Sometimes we are so giving of ourselves that we completely lose who we are because someone needs us. It’s time to get tired of that and let it go.
Let it go
I can probably write another post about “Letting it go” so I won’t be too preachy on this lol. But letting go is the hardest part of anything. So, to say that I’ve mastered being selfish is incorrect. I haven’t and I most likely won’t but what I’ve accomplished is growing towards that process. When you can notice changes within yourself for the better than you’re on your way to letting it all go. I’m noticing that the more selfish I am, especially with my time, the more people respect it. So learn to be selfish with your time, your energy, your space, your friendship, your food, and your being. It’s okay.
Please let me know in the comments how you plan to be selfish this coming year or this weekend! Love ya’ll!